A short story that shows Saskaia Harlang after the events on Umbara, based on Star Wars: The Old Republic.
If you haven’t played the 5.4 update “Crisis on Umbara” yet and have avoided spoiler so far (congratulations on that), don’t read further. I repeat: Do not read further unless you want to get a huge spoiler. 😉
“Why can’t you just leave me be?” Saskaia’s voice was a mixture of frustration, annoyance, sadness, and anger. She just wanted to be alone in her cozy room at her hideout on Nar Shaddaa, letting the neon lights shining through the huge window front deafen her senses. Since that cursed day on Umbara, all she could feel was pain. Theron’s betrayal hit her harder than anyone expected, even herself. After she send that message over the holonet, she waited for an answer, but he stayed silent. After five days, which she spent mostly in solitude, locked away in her private quarters, she couldn’t bear it anymore. She gave Lana command of the Alliance and retreated to Nar Shaddaa. Nothing mattered anymore.
“Because you need to get out. Stop moping and move your ass,” Dravean almost shouted at her. He hated to see his sister like that. If he could only get his hands on Theron… But he was out of his grasp right now, and so all he felt was helpless. No matter what he’d do or say, it wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t heal her heart, her soul. He always was a bit jealous of their relationship. To have someone, you truly love at your side. Someone you can trust completely. Now he wasn’t so sure if he wanted that anymore, because it meant getting your heart broken. Shattered into million pieces and leaving his little sister, who has been so full of joy, broken. No. If love could do that to you, he didn’t want it.
“Come on, Sas. Your morale officer demands a night at the cantina.”
“I never made you officially morale officer, Vette.”
“I don’t care.”
Beside Vette and her brother, there were also Guss, clumsy Jedi in training and once chief annoyer, but now more a little brother she had to take care of. And at the door Hylo and Gault. As if she needed a couple around her at the moment. Everyone started talking at once, a cacophony of voices that grew into an unendurable noise inside her head.
“OKAY!” she shouted. “If it gets you off my back, I’ll go. But after that, you’ll leave me the fuck alone.”
“Yay!” Vette turned happy. “Party.”
Saskaia rolled her eyes and got off her bed. She couldn’t see nor appreciate that they only meant well.
The turmoil at the cantina was almost too much. All those lights, sounds and – ugh – happy people. Her brother dragged her to the bar and ordered a round Corellian whiskey for all.
“Well, let’s get this over with.” She grabbed two glasses at once – which Dravean found shockingly rude, because the second glass was his – and downed them. “More.”
If she had to be here, she wanted to get as drunk as possible. There was no other way she could endure all this. Dravean ordered to more and she grabbed them away right before he could get his hands on his drink.
“Would you kindly…” he started.
“No, I wouldn’t. You wanted me here, now you have to deal with me here.”
He frowned and ordered three new drinks. Hopefully this way he could grab at least one before she got her hands on it. And while the others had fun, Saskaia drowned her sorrows in whiskey, and nobody noticed the cloaked figure in one of the darker corners of the cantina.
The hood of the black cloak he was wearing hid almost every aspect of his face that could give him away. Only his mouth and nose remained visible, and his brown eyes peeked out under the fringe of the hood. He could tell that she wasn’t enjoying herself. She wasn’t herself at all. Not the smart, humorous and beautiful Captain he fell in love with all those years ago. She looked older, crushed. And it was his fault.
He wished he could just go to her, take her into his arms, feel her heartbeat on his chest and her lips on his, telling her that everything will be alright. That he’ll be back soon. He wished he could tell her, what’s really behind all this. But he couldn’t. For her sake.
Would she be able to forgive him, once this is all over? He thought about it a lot. But saving her was worth losing her. At least she would be alive and could be happy again. Someday. Until then he’d keep tabs on her. Like today. It was a mere accident that he was on Nar Shaddaa, when he learned of Dravean’s plans to get her out for a night. He was glad. Seeing her, even in this state, hardened his resolve.
Saskaia was starting to feel tipsy and she liked it. The alcohol eased the pain of her heart. Not that is was a good thing in general, but she welcomed it at the moment. It was this or having to endure all those… people enjoying themselves. People with a life, someone they loved, a purpose. She was cursing them unfairly in her mind. They weren’t responsible for her loss, for her pain. There was only one person she should be angry at, but she couldn’t. Not only because he wasn’t there in the first place. She loved him too much. It was as simple and as complicated as that. He broke her heart, but he was also the only one who could mend it again. While she was lost in thought she felt… something. A weird prickle on the back of her neck. Not a real prickle. Like… someone was watching her. She turned around and scanned the crowd bit by bit.
Theron allowed himself a smile. ‘Well, at least her senses are intact,’ he thought. It was quite an effort to activate his stealth generator. Part of him wanted to be seen by her, so she would know he still cared. It was a dangerous game he played and she was already endangered enough. So he simply vanished and made his way carefully out of the cantina. He turned around one more time at the exit. ‘I’ll be back. I promise,” he whispered so quietly that it wasn’t a whisper at all. It was mere his lips forming the words as he was too afraid to give himself away.